Too often as parents, we don't realize how the environment we create for children can truly shape them into the adults they will become in the future. Some of the first thoughts are the importance of food, shelter, clothing (you probably see where I am going with this) the list goes on and on. I'm not saying those things aren't extremely significant (because they are), however there are some less thought of necessities that help to make a well-rounded person.
A noisy environment consisting of yelling (directly or indirectly), loud music, and constant chatter of talking can create confusion in a child's world. I recall spending some time at the home of a relative where in comparison to what I was use to, yelling was the choice of communicating things to children. Whenever my name was called, I would instantly jump up in nervousness and run to see what I had done wrong (which was what my mind went immediately to since I automatically associated yelling with something negative). There was yelling to wake up, come to breakfast, to get in the car to go somewhere, and to go to bed (just to mention a few times) and I was always in a state of wondering if I wasn't moving fast enough or doing the wrong thing, very confusing I might say!!! My cousins (5 of them ) were always in a state on motion and transition and I was only use to moments of conversation and discovery with my grandmother who would allow me to have time to play, read, and simply think in peace and quiet. 
As adults now, I have noticed that some of my cousins that have chosen to have children also yell to gain immediate responses from them. Though we have discussed how they were made to feel as children when they were yelled at, the cycle continues nevertheless. I do have one cousin who has made the choice not to have children, and when asked why, the response was because he doesn't want to mess them up. The cousin I'm speaking of has a very calm demeanor and is wonderful and patience with children as he has spent countless moments babysitting and hanging out with my 2 when they were young. I have gotten numerous compliments from him about what a wonderful mother I am and how proud he is of me:) I totally respect his decision not to have children and often wonder if his childhood has a great deal to do with his choice.
In my research of the African culture and whether yelling is a common practice in communicating with children, I found various links to information on African-American families and yelling, however not much on yelling as a practice in the case of African culture. I only discovered a direction correlation with yelling at children with disabilities in Africa due to the negative stigma of family shame and disgrace of having a disabled individual in the family.
If you are interested in reading further, here is the link to more information. http://files.eric.ed.gov/fulltext/ED533575.pdf
As adults now, I have noticed that some of my cousins that have chosen to have children also yell to gain immediate responses from them. Though we have discussed how they were made to feel as children when they were yelled at, the cycle continues nevertheless. I do have one cousin who has made the choice not to have children, and when asked why, the response was because he doesn't want to mess them up. The cousin I'm speaking of has a very calm demeanor and is wonderful and patience with children as he has spent countless moments babysitting and hanging out with my 2 when they were young. I have gotten numerous compliments from him about what a wonderful mother I am and how proud he is of me:) I totally respect his decision not to have children and often wonder if his childhood has a great deal to do with his choice.
In my research of the African culture and whether yelling is a common practice in communicating with children, I found various links to information on African-American families and yelling, however not much on yelling as a practice in the case of African culture. I only discovered a direction correlation with yelling at children with disabilities in Africa due to the negative stigma of family shame and disgrace of having a disabled individual in the family.
If you are interested in reading further, here is the link to more information. http://files.eric.ed.gov/fulltext/ED533575.pdf
I found this interesting. in our classrooms we even have a policy of no music, unless for naptime or an activity. Music as constant background noise leads the children's noise level rising,teachers voice rising and a more chaotic classroom.
ReplyDeleteHello Dantaya,
ReplyDeleteI can relate on the nature of yelling as being an African American. In our household the only time my siblings and I were yelled is when we did something very bad. Occasionally, my parents would work things out by talking to us instead of yelling. At times, yelling did not hurt my self-esteem or anything, however, there were times when I found myself being sadden or depressed.
Tanya Terrell
Tanya Terrell