Positive Change Can Come With Time

Just as children at times, we find ourselves wanting immediate gratification. Whenever I find myself impatient, I'm reminded of the progress a child who started in my toddler 2's classroom made with time, support, and patience.

 It's been over ten years ago, but I will never forget him, he was my first child with special needs. It was during my internship that I met "Ryan" (not his actual name of course) and he presented every challenge a teacher could imagine. A runner, a bitter, a hitter, and more. "Ryan" was born prematurely and had a number of surgeries before reaching the age of 2. He was barely verbal and very aggressive with others, I believe out of his frustration in trying to communicate and not being understood. With the luxury of having 3 teachers in the room, we would all rotate in giving him one on one attention throughout the day. Week after week, incident after incident, I remember my seasoned lead teacher saying throughout the day as a reassurance...."It'll come with time". We were trained to be patient, to use positive redirection and the true beauty in this Piagetian Constructivist environment was that the children were guided in telling each other how their actions, such as hitting, made the other feel. As you can imagine, there were many moments that "Ryan" heard from his friends, "I don't like it when you push me down, it makes me feel bad and I want you to stop", "Ryan" would say "OK" and then walk or run away. When I would leave for the day, I would find myself wondering what would become of "Ryan", how would his experience in life be once he graduated from Kindergarten at the Lab School? Would there be others out there who would show him the patience and care we did? I wasn't so sure.

The end of my internship had come and it was time to say goodbye to my mentors, both the staff and the children that I had learned so much from. It was there I learned the different between having the knowledge and applying it. Without that experience, I would still be lost (but that's another story). I graduated and life happens as it does until I got an invitation to visit the Lab School for a Kindergarten celebration. Yes, my toddlers were about to go to first grade. I was so excited. I wondered what their personalities had become over the years. On the day of my visit, at first glance, I remember thinking..Man they sure have gotten tall. They were all there, smiling and talking and laughing. Just having fun. And then, I saw him..."Ryan". I didn't recognize him because he blended right in talking (clear as a bell), laughing, and singing. I cried at that moment. I was so overjoyed. I later had a conversation with my much respected lead teacher who caught me up on the progress of all the children over the years I missed. When she got to "Ryan", I reminded her how she would always encourage him by say "It'll come with time" and she was right. With that smile of wisdom, she told me that wasn't for him, that was for you. She explained that she knew I would, as she did when she first started teaching, worry about him more than the others because of his challenges. My mentor could see what I had not yet developed the vision for, she could see what would come to be with time, support, and most of all patience. That experience changed my life and I am grateful for it and them everyday:)