A BIG THANKS TO YOU ALL!!!!

I would like to take the time (what we seem to never have enough of) to say “Thank You” to everyone who has and will continue to participate in reading my blog. There is much difficulty at times to be trusting and share some of the very sensitive moments that we have with each other. Your respect and encouragement definitely has not gone unnoticed or unappreciated. I just hope that I have been able to contribute to you as much as you have given to me. Best eagerly anticipated wishes to everyone as we recall, “The end is only the beginning!!!!” How Exciting:)


 

When Things Come to an End:(

In taking a look back on all the groups that were difficult for me to leave, whether personal or professional, I believe the reason being was because of the positive bonds we were able to create during our journey of growth and development. The productive conflicts and disagreements, if guided correctly, can be a positive addition moving from the storming stage to normalizing interactions with one another. Once the many egos are set aside, and the trust and respect is established, the real work begins and the relationships are built. Having lived in other states due to military moves, the usual parting ritual with those that reached friendship status, was to spend the entire day before together. I’m talking about an over 12 hour event (almost 24 hours if you included the sleep over). Of course there was laughter and tears, and yes though we still stay in contact with one another; it’s never been the same as before because of the distance. I love them immensely nevertheless.

As with any conclusion of an educational achievement, the expectation is to celebrate with a graduation and sharing of contact information to keep in touch personally and professionally as a resource. I still remain close with some of my undergraduate friends and their endeavors in our shared interest of educating children and families.   

When There's Conflict...

Disagreements can be awful, especially when they are of a personal nature. Unfortunately, my last one was with a friend who revealed a very ugly side to them. Honestly speaking, I have caught glimpses of this behavior before, however, due to it never being directed to me previously…we’d talk about it (as it was involving someone else) and then move on. This time, it was directed straight at me and definitely below the belt. I wanted to make sure that I actually heard what I thought I heard, so I asked that the statement be repeated (and yes, I was correct). After what appeared to be time standing still, I verbally stated exactly how the statement (which was incorrect) made me feel as a reflection for the other person. Then instead of probing, I chose to separate from the situation as the environment was no longer positive or supportive anymore. In the emotion of things, it’s always best practices to stop, wait for a calmer moment with a clearer mind, then have the courageous discussion. This practice can at least prevent you from experiencing a moment of regret yourself. Many awkward moments could be avoided if more people would take their time and simply think about the other person before they speak.   

How Well Do I Communicate....???

 

As many people are, I’m very critical in judging how I present myself (as well as how I am received) as a professional. I always see room for improvement in my daily interactions. If I miss a small detail, I feel that if I had only been a bit more in tune with what the person was showing (not just saying), maybe I could have caught it (whatever it turns out to be). I know that I'm not perfect, but again I can be my worst critic. According to others, I tend to pick up on things intuitively and communicate very effectively (taking into account both what’s being said as well as what’s being shown). I’m an active/reflective listener that often considers the perception of others is their reality and can’t be overlooked. I feel that it is often through attempting to experience things as others would (through their eyes); we create the necessary bonds and developed trust to assist others in need.

My diverse travels have enlightened me to the beauty of all cultures and therefore I try not to make initial judgment of a person’s journey in life. You can easily misinterpret someone based on first glance appearances, allowing hidden biases, prejudices, and stereotypes to blind us from really learning about who they really are. Social Services are just that, providing various services to the public regardless of background, race, culture, or sexuality. To render services that are impeccable in equity and equality, one must first be open to all forms of communication. 

Adjusting Accordingly

Whenever I communicate, I consider the topic I’m attempting to discuss, the timing of the discussion, and the person or persons I’m discussing it with. Due to the fact that people, in general, all have different experiences and walks of life, they tend to receive and process information in various ways (both verbally and non-verbally). Depending on whom your audience is, certain adjustments will need to be made. You wouldn’t speak to a highly religious group in a harsh manner about the importance of utilizing condoms during the possible decision of having pre-marital sex when abstinence would be better accepted topic. If a rush discussion occurs without certain considerations, you run the risk of being offensive and not getting your points across. The recipient(s) can shut down and become defensive, causing a situation of hostility and aggression (totally non-productive at this point).  

Even in friendly gatherings, I try to adjust my conversation to each person that I’m speaking to. As I now think about it, I regulate these conversations without major awareness of doing so (something like second nature). Ultimately, my goal is to make whatever interactions that occur, a positive experience for all parties involved.  By utilizing techniques such as being other-oriented instead of self-centered, implementing the platinum rule (do to others as they themselves would like to be treated), and always observing the non-verbal hidden messages floating during a conversation, an increase in the chance of having effective 2-way communication that everyone learns from can transpire. 

References:

Beebe, S. A., Beebe, S. J., & Redmond, M.V. (2011). Interpersonal communication: Relating to others         

(6^th ed.). Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon.

Gonzales-Mena, J. (2010). 50 strategies for communicating and working with diverse families. Upper

Saddle River, NJ: Pearson Education, Inc.